As creatives, when we think of weddings we think of the gorgeous details, the stunning dresses, the fabulous decorations, and trying to capture the best couple portraits ever! Normally the family portrait time is something we write off as just a necessary part of the day that we don’t get too excited about. In fact, normally this part of the day stresses us out! A lot of us don’t like to be super vocal in large crowds, and having to interact with a large group of people intimidates us.
But family formals are SO important! These are the most important people to the bride and groom. The family photos will be cherished forever by so many people! Also, the family portrait time is usually our first interaction with the bride and groom’s family. It’s their first impression of us. If we show up disorganized, frazzled because we are behind on the timeline, or stressed about something else, we are not only doing our clients a disservice, but we are doing our business a disservice as well!
These are the two different comments I hear from family members of couples recently married about the photographer…
“The photographer was so disorganized! The photos took forever. She looked like she didn’t know what she was doing and our guests were kept waiting.”
OR…
“Oh the photographer was amazing!! She was so kind and friendly and QUICK. The photos were gorgeous!! We loved her.”
The reality is, if you are disorganized and stressed during the family formal session, a lot of times that’s the only thing the family will remember about you. Whenever they look at your photos, even if they were gorgeous, there may always be a tinge of negative feelings. You definitely don’t want that!! The family is always the quickest to refer couples to photographers. Use this time to wow them, not stress them!
Here are a few ways that I have learned to manage family formals well and serve my clients better!
1. Obtain a list of requested family formals from the bride at least 2 months before the wedding
The most stressful family formal sessions for me have been the one where we hadn’t agreed upon in advance about what photos I would take. The last thing you want to do is ask the BRIDE, “what other photos did you want?” This is the biggest day of her life and she doesn’t want to make any decisions! You should definitely get together with her on the phone or through e-mail to finalize a list of photos before the wedding. I like to do this 2 months before because as the wedding gets closer, there will be more things to do and she will be more likely to not respond to your e-mails! Get it done EARLY.
2. Keep the list shorter rather than longer
When you talk to the bride about the family formals, suggest to her a potential list that you do for all of your clients and let her know that any added photos will add time! If she really wants a photo with each of her aunts or several couples, suggest to her that you get those during the reception. The biggest complaint I hear about family formals is that they take too long! Try to keep the list as short as possible (keep reading for my standard family formals list!)
3. Organize the list in a systematic way
You do NOT want to be calling people up and down and up and down for the family formals. Make sure your list is organized by family and that you limit the amount of moving that people have to do!
4. Keep grandparents and elderly relatives in mind!
I ALWAYS shoot the grandparents first and put their photos back to back so that they don’t have to sit down and get up multiple times. A lot of grandparents can’t stand for very long or can’t stand at all without assistance, so do keep this in mind when planning the family formals list
5. Choose Your Family Portrait Location Beforehand!
It is important that the family members know where the photos will be taken so that you don’t have to waste time trying to round them all up after the ceremony! If you don’t know where you will shoot until you get to the wedding, suggest a meeting place where they will stay after the ceremony so that you can easily tell them all where to go. In most chapels or venues, the light inside is uneven or dark! I always suggest doing the family formals outside if possible! If you shoot outside, be sure to find a location with even shade in a large area. Keep in mind the placement of the sun! A location that you scout out in the morning may not look the same late in the afternoon!
6. Be Kind, not Demanding
It is important to be authoritative so that everyone listens to you, but this must be done in a gentle, not demanding way! Instead of saying, “You, move here.” Say, “Could I get you to move this way?” If you state something as a question, it sounds less harsh! Wedding days are often stressful, and people will respond better to kindness!
7. Keep it lighthearted, no matter what
I often run into family members who don’t want their photo taken at all. Sometimes they even insult me and say things like, “why do I have to listen to you?” “Who put you in charge?” If I get my feelings hurt and say something rude back, that immediately will sour the rest of the session. I always laugh it off and try to make a joke instead of getting offended.
8. Take Multiple Photos of Each Grouping
People blink, they talk, and they look away during photos. For some reasons it just happens! Be sure you take multiple images of each shot so that you can choose the one where everyone is looking and has their eyes open!
9. Keep it Quick!
This is the BEST thing you can do to make people happy, so be organized, have your list ready, and move groups as quickly as possible! You can do it! 🙂
If it helps, here is my standard family formals list! I always start with the bride’s family out of courtesy unless the groom’s family is much smaller so that they don’t all have to wait for the bride’s family to be done. I also do the larger groups first so that they can be dismissed and go to the reception as soon as they are finished! I have the grandparents in 3 photos maximum and try to not have them move at all!
B&G with All Bride’s Family Present
B&G with Bride’s Immediate Family including nieces, nephews, and grandparents
B&G with Bride’s Grandparents
B&G with Bride’s Siblings
B&G with Bride’s Parents
Bride with Parents
B&G with Both Immediate Families (no grandparents)
B&G with Both Sets of Parents
B&G with All Groom’s Family Present
B&G with Groom’s Immediate Family including nieces, nephews, and grandparents
B&G with Groom’s Grandparents
B&G with Groom’s Siblings
B&G with Groom’s Parents
Groom with Parents
Happy Shooting!
– Christi